SethMacFarlane: I think John Wayne would've played a really great Regarding...
SethMacFarlane: I think John Wayne would've played a really great Regarding Henry.
View Articleclarkekant: This holiday season, show that special someone you barely care...
clarkekant: This holiday season, show that special someone you barely care with a gift card.
View ArticleMaddyy05: @thesulk I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it.
Maddyy05: @thesulk I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it.
View ArticleSamGrittner: Anything is a time capsule if you just put something into...
SamGrittner: Anything is a time capsule if you just put something into something then just leave it there.
View Articlescullymike: My Amazon shopping cart has one wheel that keeps getting stuck.
scullymike: My Amazon shopping cart has one wheel that keeps getting stuck.
View ArticleFabFourFacts: "I'd love to turn you on." - The Beatles
FabFourFacts: "I'd love to turn you on." - The Beatles
View Articlerobdelaney: I probably have the best moisturized penis out of anyone on this...
robdelaney: I probably have the best moisturized penis out of anyone on this couch.
View ArticleJimGaffigan: Can I get someone to NOT help me at the Apple Store?...
JimGaffigan: Can I get someone to NOT help me at the Apple Store? http://t.co/AtqhHxiC
View Articlenationallampoon: Have we named tomorrow yet?
nationallampoon: Have we named tomorrow yet?
View ArticleTheBiggIdea: Babes, I'm totally into concerts.
TheBiggIdea: Babes, I'm totally into concerts.
View Articlekristygee: If you can’t find your skateboard, you can always scoot around...
kristygee: If you can’t find your skateboard, you can always scoot around town on one of those wiener dogs.
View ArticleMJMcKean: 10 minutes in Costco and I can feel my neck getting redder.
MJMcKean: 10 minutes in Costco and I can feel my neck getting redder.
View ArticleTheStevenWeber: Björn Borg bït Björk's bütt.
TheStevenWeber: Björn Borg bït Björk's bütt.
View ArticleSimon_the_boy: @thesulk You make fun now, but when Robert Wagner throws YOU...
Simon_the_boy: @thesulk You make fun now, but when Robert Wagner throws YOU off a boat, don't come crying to me.
View ArticleDearAnyone: I'm not too good with guns, so for protection I always carry...
DearAnyone: I'm not too good with guns, so for protection I always carry around a pair of vampire teeth.
View ArticletheNuzzy: Hookers always work their fingers to the boner. You see what I did...
theNuzzy: Hookers always work their fingers to the boner. You see what I did there? I added an r to the end of bone to change the meaning entirely!
View Articletoddlevin: I get a cold, ghostly chill whenever I see a Muppet's legs.
toddlevin: I get a cold, ghostly chill whenever I see a Muppet's legs.
View Article_theguy_: Christianity promotes abstinence but has tons of sects.
_theguy_: Christianity promotes abstinence but has tons of sects.
View ArticleMisterBrewster: Television commercial parties are the type of parties I try...
MisterBrewster: Television commercial parties are the type of parties I try not to attend.
View ArticleJennyJohnsonHi5: No. Are you sure you're not just being fucked? RT...
JennyJohnsonHi5: No. Are you sure you're not just being fucked? RT @KimKardashian: Naked yoga! Has anyone ever heard of this before???? I can't take it!
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